December 2010... Haven't been blogging again.... I have no idea if anyone still reads my blog?
Today, i just feel like writing out my feelings so i turn to my blog.
First, I have turned 25 years old, wow I have lived for a quarter of a century. Time is passing so fast.
I felt sad as the bdae celebration i wanted most did not come. I wanted my 3 best friends to be with me on this day. I m not asking for a bdae cake. I m not asking for present. All I wanted is their companion, a meal or even sitting in Kopitam to drink coffe, it just makes my day. I have been telling ppl ard me that my best friends will be celebrating my bdae for me on Fri. But, it is not happening, it hurts...
On my bdae, I was shopping around in Orchard alone. Dear sis is kind enough to take time off and together with Jesper, they celebrated with me by having dinner and catching a night movie of "Narnia".
If you ask me who are your best friends? Without hesitation, I can give u 3 names. Every second spent with them was happy moments. But, if u ask the 3 of them, will they say my name, I wonder? Things has changed since a few years back and i naively believe things will turn for the better. I chose to keep mum and thought "TIME" will bring everything back in course and it will be "Happily Ever After" but it seems like i m wrong. Somehow, things have reached a "point of no return". I m still having hopes on this.
J told me perhaps the foundation of our friendship between the 4 of us is not strong and is not emotionally bonded. After thinking for a night, perhaps there is some certainty in what she said. I really do not want to see our frienship turns out this way. I know we have all grown up and our mindset change and of course our priorities in life change. This has become too much for my "simple" mind to take it further and i find myself stepping back and finding solace in "another world".
I hope 1 day, the 4 of us will wake up from this "bad dream" and remember all the happy & cherishable times we spent and shared.
For what i know, even with all the changes and unhappiness, my feelings for my 3 best friends has never change but the frienship holding the 4 of us together? I have no answer for it.... I love the 3 of you.
